just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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