so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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