Got a toothbrush?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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