I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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