Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
