Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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