yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
