i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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