Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
