How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
