When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
