holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
