My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize