My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
