No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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