That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
