Just fell off a train. Bad.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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