I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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