weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
