I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
