Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
