Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
