She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No subtext here. People are naked.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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