Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
