fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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