quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
