No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
