You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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