My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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