We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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