You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
