she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
