Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
