But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
