Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize