Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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