just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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