Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize