I just saw a hot homeless man
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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