Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
