i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
