will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
