oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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