dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize