reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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