Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Found the puke drawer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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