I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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