Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
