wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am one with the molecules
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
