Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
