Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize