Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
