Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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