i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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