I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
