I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize