I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
