the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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