This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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