were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My cat gives me a boner
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
