his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
